What am I to You?
by GeneratorCat
Summary: They high-five and it feels like something Dick hasn't felt since the circus, or maybe with Bruce, but it's different. With Wally everything is different, more comfortable and Dick doesn't know what to call it, but he'll think up a word for it later. BirdFlash.
Dick is eleven when he meets Kid Flash and he's _so happy_ because for so long he's been around _adults_ and now he has some one to _talk_ to. And yeah, Wally (it didn't take Dick long to figure it out) is two years older, but he doesn't act like older kids usually do, like they're smarter and better. Wally starts asking about that time Robin and Batman took down Poison Ivy _unarmed_ and the two of them fall into this rhythm of easy, excited, mutual admiration.

The first time they fight together is a little rocky, because Robin doesn't quite know where Kid Flash will be the next moment and Kid Flash doesn't read Robin's body to know when he's about to attack. But it works out and they win and it is _so cool_.

They high-five and it feels like something Dick hasn't felt since the circus, or maybe with Bruce, but it's different. With Wally everything is different, more comfortable and Dick doesn't know what to call it, but he'll think up a word for it later.

Dick is thirteen and Wally is fifteen when they get their own team. Now they get to fight beside each other _all the time_ , and they get to train together and spend their downtime together. It's so much better than sometimes teaming up when Batman and Flash say they can.

They hang out in Dick's room at the cave and when they're in there, he can take off the glasses and enjoy the way Wally says his name so easily now, not like when he first told him and Wally stuttered the name out or would start saying "Robin" and change half way through, calling him "Ro-ick".

In that room they play video games and talk about everything from algebra to intergalactic warlords. And one day they start talking about kissing, and Dick is surprised to learn that Wally hasn't ever done it before. Sure, he's a dork, but he's a charming dork and pretty cute when you take the time to look past all that vibrato, and wouldn't girls like that?

Wally says something about how he wishes he could practice before he goes out and kisses girls and Dick says something before he can think about it.

"You could practice with me?"

The moment it's out of his mouth Dick wonders why he said that, because isn't it weird to kiss your friends? And boys, at that? But he thinks about kissing Wally and it doesn't seem like it would be weird. Nothing they do together is weird. Judging by the looks flittering across Wally's face, he's working through the same deductions as Dick and has come to the same not-weird-conclusion. He shrugs and says, "Okay," before leaning in.

Wally's eyes are scrunched shut and his lips are puckered too tightly. Dick just stares at this idiot for a second before he matches the expression and touches their stiff lips together. Pulling back, Dick eyes his friend skeptically.

"I don't think that's right."

"Yeah," Wally agrees, looking thoughtful. "Here, try this."

He reaches out and grabs Dick's chin, wiggling it from side to side until Dick swats his hand away, laughing. "What are you doing?"

"You gotta loosen up!"

"Well you do too, okay?"

Wally nods, determined, and leans in towards Dick again. This time it's better, Dick supposes, but still off and he decides they'll need to spend the afternoon working on this.

He wonders if this is something friends do, and if that's the word for him and Wally. Friends.

Later that year, at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, Wally kisses Artemis and Zatanna kisses Dick and he's happy to have practiced it. He's sure it would have been totally awkward otherwise, and even still the press of her lips doesn't feel right. It's probably just because he's only used to the feel and smell and taste of Wally, and this is new. He tells that to Wally the next day, expecting full agreement, but Wally gets this wistful look and says his kiss with Artemis was awesome.

That's fine, Dick thinks. It's good Wally is happy.

Dick has other friends, kids from school and everyone in Young Justice, but none of them are Wally. None of them read Dick like Wally can now, does without thinking and hands over a bottle of water before Dick even opens his mouth to ask for it. They fight fluidly now, with and around each other with an intimacy the rest of the team admires but can never match.

It's Dick and Wally. Wally and Dick.

It's also Wally and Artemis.

Dick likes Artemis. He respects her and cares for her and loves that she makes Wally so happy.

But then there are times when she doesn't make him happy and Wally comes to Dick to tell him about their fight and Dick lets him run around his room and eat his food until he finally lays down, head cushioned on Dick's lap as he runs fingers through that burnt orange hair. He listens and nods and tells Wally when he's being a dumbass until Wally leaps up and smiles, saying he's going to go find her right then with some spicy curry because that's her favorite.

Dick is happy to have been helpful.

There's also something else, something empty and grey behind his ribs he doesn't know the cause of and certainly not the word for. He'll think of one later.

Dick is eighteen when he becomes the leader of Young Justice, Wally and Artemis quit the super hero game, Kaldur goes undercover, and Dick plays a dangerous game with the Reach. He and wally fight and it's such a strange experience. They've never fought like that before. It's the first time they've ever been weird. It's a hell of a year.

Dick is eighteen and he's supposed to be an adult now. He's felt like one for years but now it's legal and official and he doesn't want it anymore. It's hard.

Dick is eighteen when Wally dies. It's not the first time some one he loves has died (and he does- did love Wally. He doesn't know how, really, but.) yet it feels different than his parents or Jason. Everything with Wally has always felt different, and this doesn't exactly hurt more, just in a way he's unfamiliar with; in that empty, grey place behind his ribs that now is a chunk of ice freezing his insides and keeping him from moving, from dealing with life. It keeps him from flying for a while, and nothing has ever grounded him before.

It's the uncertainty, he figures. He stands in front of Wally's headstone and asks what the word is, that word he'd been searching for for eight years. What that thing was between them and why is was different and why it wasn't weird and why this hurts so damn much.

Dick kneels down in the fresh grass and asks, "What am I to you?"

The silence is as much of an answer as he ever got, all the times he asked Wally with questioning looks and fingers in his hair and practice kisses and high-fives.


End file.
